Beste John Mayer,

Hoe doe je dat toch? Je bent géén uitzonderlijk goede zanger, niet de allerbeste gitarist aller tijden en qua hunk-factor scoor je [volgens mij] ook geen perfecte 10. En toch was het een behoorlijk natte boel voor het podium bij jouw Pinkpop-optreden dit jaar. En dan heb ik het niet over de regen. Op het moment dat jij je gitaar inplugde kreeg de halve voormalige draf- en renbaan in Landgraaf een spetterend orgasme. Blijkbaar kom je tegenwoordig al een heel eind als je met een wazige blik, een scheve mond en een hese stem gezapige liedjes in je microfoon staat te spugen.

Ik zag net op tv het einde van je liedje ‘Gravity’. Hoe je op nonchalante manier je gitaar in je nek legt en achter je rug houdt. En dan toch doorspelen. Knap hoor. Daarna je gitaar op het foeilelijke kleedje op het podium leggen en de wereldberoemde Jimi Hendrix-act nadoen. Maar dan zonder je gitaar in de fik te steken. Hoe doe je dat, John? Zit je wekenlang in de huiskamer daarop te oefenen? Wordt mevrouw Mayer daar niet helemaal geschift van?  Dat je op maandagochtend om 9 uur al op je knietjes op de grond zit te oefenen op dat ene riffje? En heb je daar ook zo’n foeilelijk kleed liggen?

Ik las dat je meer dan 200 gitaren bezit. Zijn die ook allemaal zo lekker stoer beschadigd, zoals die ene waar ik je op zag spelen tijdens bovengenoemd nummer? Hoe doe je dat? Koop je dan een spiksplinternieuwe gitaar bij de plaatselijke gitarengigant, bind je die met een touw achter je auto en ga je dan een paar rondjes rijden? Zodat dat ding er lekker doorleefd uitziet, en iedereen gelooft dat jullie samen al van alles hebben meegemaakt? Is dat het trucje, John?

Blijkbaar werkt het. Ik ben toch al vaak op Pinkpop geweest, maar ik heb nog nooit zoveel leuke meisjes voor het podium zien staan. Meisjes met alleen nog hun bh’tje aan, meisjes met spandoeken en meisjes met zelfgemaakte tekeningen. Meisjes die huilend van genot jouw teksten staan mee te zingen.  Allemaal even schattig en allemaal even leuk. En allemaal even vochtig tussen de beentjes.

Ze zouden je levenslang moeten opsluiten, John Mayer. En al je cd’s en foto’s op een grote brandstapel gooien. Op deze manier komen jongens als ik natuurlijk nooit aan de vrouw.


This post is tagged ,

94 Responses

  1. If youu happen to don’t like the dealer you see, yyou mayy at all times enroll once more by the
    trading bot and use a distinct e mail, and hopefully you
    will notice a special broker.

  2. Excellent bog right here! Additonally your ssite loads up fast!
    What web host aare you using? Can I amm getting your aaffiliate hyperlink in your
    host? I wish my web site loaded uup as quickly as
    yoirs lol

  3. Before then the league-leaders have any easy foe in Colville while Freeman plays takes on Lakeside, who
    handed them their other league defeat.

  4. Thanks for the marvelous posting! I really enjoyed reafing it,
    you can be a grat author.I will ensure that I bookmark your blog and will come back sometime soon. I want to encourage you continue your great job, have a
    nice morning!

  5. Cindi zegt:

    great post, very informative. I ponder why the other specialists
    of this sector don’t realize this. You should proceed your
    writing. I’m sure, you’ve a great readers’ base already!

  6. There is certainly a lot to know about this subject.
    I like all the points you have made.

  7. Rigoberto zegt:

    A regional park, in your city can be low-cost to reserve for the event.
    You can likewise ask your friends to take the wedding photographs as well.
    There are several reception choices and added services provided.

  8. I used to be suggested this website via my cousin. I’m now not sure whether or not this
    submit is written by way of him as nobody else know such distinct approximately my difficulty.
    You are amazing! Thanks!

  9. Annmarie zegt:

    What’s up to every one, the contents present at this web page are genuinely remarkable for people
    knowledge, well, keep up the good work fellows.

  10. I was suggested this website by way of my cousin. I am now not positive whether or not this put up is written by
    him as no one else realize such targeted about my problem.
    You’re wonderful! Thank you!

  11. Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Thank you so
    much, However I am going through difficulties with your
    RSS. I don’t understand the reason why I cannot subscribe to it.

    Is there anybody else having similar RSS problems? Anybody who knows
    the solution will you kindly respond? Thanx!!

  12. However, remember that you do not get the ongoing help for a enterprise opportunity, and that it’s good to conduct extra research with a
    enterprise alternative, since it mmay not have the identijcal authorized obligations as franchises do to disclose certain particulars in regards to the business,
    like the monetary health of the operation.

  13. Jika memiliki bekass jeraat atau nooda hitam diwajah, sebaiknya tutupi dengan menggunakan concealer, lalu gunakan juga lose powder agar kulit
    terlihat bercahaya.

  14. Excellent blog right here! Additionally your site a lot
    up very fast! What web host are you using? Can I
    am getting your affiliate link to your host?
    I wish my web site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

  15. I’m impressed, I have to admit. Seldom do
    I encounter a blog that’s equally educative and entertaining, and let
    me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head.
    The problem is something that too few folks are speaking
    intelligently about. Now i’m very happy that I found this during my
    search for something concerning this.

  16. m88 zegt:

    Louis solely win on the PGA Tour got here when he gained the British Oppen in 2010.

  17. m88 zegt:

    minus the $100 parlay) and if Philly wins, Doug wis $450 ($1000 on the parlay
    minus. You can have free throws (1 point), regular baskets
    (2points), or three-pointers (3 points). This year’s viewership of the Celebration of Gospel rose to its
    hughest ever, but yet BET pulls the annual program.

  18. m88 zegt:

    Knockdown: A shot performed largely to regulate trajectory, spin and distance, but
    which iis in need of a full swing.

  19. We’re a bunch of volunteers and opening a brand new
    scheme in our community. Your web site offered us with
    useful info to work on. You’ve done an impressive process and our entire neighborhood will probably be grateful to you.

  20. This is a great tip particularly to those new to the blogosphere.
    Brief but very precise info… Thanks for sharing this one.
    A must read article!

  21. Daniella zegt:

    I wish to cover some quite old legislation that influences everyone who
    runs online. Now for numerous of you reading this
    who are knowledgeable online marketing professionals you’ll currently learn about
    all this. Nevertheless it’s an important area that
    some of those who are just starting have to understand
    and exactly what they should do to comply.

    The basis for these advertising reward opportunities is something called permission advertising.
    Rather just, approval marketing indicates that before a marketer bombards you with his message, he has
    to first ask you well and say please. When he gets your consent, and just then,
    he can play his advertisement. Given that you’re most likely not going to consent without getting something out of it, the marketer
    will provide you some sort of reward for seeing the advertisement.
    You get the benefit and the advertiser gets his message out.
    Everybody is happy. Almost what it boils down to is that you
    as the advertising customer get a small cut
    of the advertising revenue.

    Keyword research study is an essential step in any kind
    of search engine marketing. Generally, with the wrong list of keywords, no
    matter how terrific you are ranking, you will
    not make any money. Without targeted traffic you will not make any
    sales. Your focus ought to be on keywords that are popular amongst searchers.
    With the ideal keywords you are off to a running start; with the
    wrong keywords you may also begin over because you won’t win the race.
    As soon as you have actually discovered some high volume keywords you can begin planning your site structure and styles.
    There are a variety of complimentary keyword tools that you can make use of to create appropriate keywords for your site.

    So similar to any industry there are some
    serious growing discomforts within the field of tattoos as the standard tattoo artists and those more recent to the field battle with
    problems of marketing vs. art. Lots of feel that this brand-new development is fantastic and
    it is all leading to brand-new company and more regard for the field.
    However the standard tattoo artists feel that their true art and lifestyle is now being made
    use of and commercialized.
    If you constantly discover yourself informing others how to properly stain a deck, deal with a toilet or lay ceramic flooring, then begin a small handy-man business on the side.
    This is one business that relies on word of mouth advertising.
    All of us are looking for a trusted mechanic or painter that we can trust.

    Describe the shortcuts, techniques, and evades you learned en route.
    Once again this develops trust, and your audience
    will thank you for your experience. This demonstrates that you are an expert, and you actually
    understand what you’re talking about. You are not a “expert” with nil experience!
    You have actually “existed, and done that” and it includes extremely to
    your internet marketing trustworthiness.
    The other benefit of concentrating on service and not sales, is that you are
    more in positioning with yourself. You probably got into the genuine estate company because you like
    aid people and it’s distasteful to you when you turn people
    into dollar indications.
    So exactly what does this mean for the industry?
    Has the end lastly come and the entire industry has now
    been shot to you understand exactly what as the conventional tattoo artist would specify?

    Or is this just all terrific for company and we should just pocket the cash and run to
    the bank and not fret about the artistic value of
    the piece or even if the customer should actually be getting a tattoo done or not?

  22. Pat zegt:

    For some time I simply always presumed the team that victories
    doings this simply due to the fact that they are physically much better, however I understand now that
    this is not the case. It is that other attribute that pushes
    a group to victory. It could likewise doing this for your business.

    We’ll get to more on that in a moment.
    I have heard people say that it is very strenuous to
    stay up to date with the online marketing
    market given that there is something new happening every day (that
    is, details overload). Item launches today are as regular as ever.

    That is only partly real. What I will reveal will save lots
    of a lot of disappointment if you bear in mind.

    In many cases, the ad sales rep will certainly be distressed to
    tell you the specials they have offered. If they do not provide,
    ask. You may feel unpleasant, however it’s OK to request for a price cut.
    That’s how ad companies get great pricing for their clients.

    Mobile phone are quick becoming a necessity instead of a luxury.
    A huge majority of the population over the age of 15 has
    one and most kids old enough to have close friends think they require one.
    The mobile phone market has actually experienced a sensational growth, you have a
    devices that is changed in less than a year in many
    cases, and with an upgraded model a lot of the time. This
    indicates that before quite longer, the audience of anyone marketing with cell
    phones will reasonably be a lot of the world wide population.
    The website owner pays you for advertising these people Whenever you blog
    for cash. This will certainly make their site and even product known. In addition, the websites internet presence will likely be increased, more individuals can familiarize their products and
    lastly, everything will certainly be lucrative in their side.
    This will make it a win-win situation for you, the tumblr,
    and the website or whatever it is which you have actually supporteded.
    The very best part of this is that you don’t have to do a task that would handle
    an excessive amount of your time. A typical typist might complete a
    single task in around 30 minutes to one hour.
    If your answer is yes, then you require to seek help.If not, do not squander your
    time or your thoughts informing yourself this is not for you.
    Instead, invest this time and these ideas on doing exactly what internet marketing other successful individuals are doing.
    Overtake their momentum.
    Work at house tasks with no fees are on the Internet.
    You can sign-up with a company as their affiliate, and concur to
    have them pay you just when you make a sale. There is no
    limitation on how numerous vendors that you can partner with.
    Presenting the time and effort can create several streams of earnings for your online company.
    Affiliate advertising has many advantages and have
    been proven to make you the most money in the least quantity of time.
    You do not have to call clients and you can put your website on autopilot and
    earn commissions 24/7.
    Include to your devices line. Continuously establish new
    item ideas that will certainly deal with not just the present
    demands but likewise the emerging requirements of your target market.

    1% Marketing & Web Design Bloomington
    705 W Jackson St
    Bloomington, Illinois 61701
    (309) 429-6371

  23. seo zegt:

    Valuable info. Lucky me I discovered your website accidentally, and I’m stunned why this coincidence didn’t came about in advance!
    I bookmarked it.

  24. Whether because of fatigue, tire blowouts, failed brakes,
    or another cause, trucking accidents can cause extremely
    serious injuries and even death. If your case involves a dog bite,
    medical malpractice, or wrongful death include all of the medical
    information pertaining to the case. Do not hesitate
    to inquire about their charges and fee structure.

  25. NaomiXLemert zegt:

    Greetings! I am aware this really is kinda off topic but I was wondering which
    blog platform have you been using for this particular site?
    I’m getting sick and tired of WordPress because I’ve had problems with hackers and I’m taking a look at options for an additional
    platform. I would personally be great if you could point me toward a good platform.

  26. Drip tips are less wastedful since you do not have to throw away
    your previous cartridge. Monday ‘ Friday: 8 AM ‘ 6 PM Centtral Time (closed
    holidays). An additional benefit about the electronic cigarette
    is you won’t have to glance stained teeth or fingernails that the smoke makes.

  27. She made that journey herself, it was a journey where revenge aand angedr
    were road signs but not answers. Localized Food Production ‘ Let’s face it,
    importing food may work in short bursts, but it’s not a sustainable long-term solution. On the other hand, stripping involves collecting the ripe and unripe cherries.

  28. Several concession gear retailers offer you cell concession stands.
    Joel Christopher ( has been known to say his first JV project generated $33,000 in sales
    over 17 hours. The Cowgirls were in a zone last weekend
    in Knoxville.

  29. rbin.info zegt:

    Setting targets (or motion plans) is an enormous a
    part of the Dwelling a Wholesome Life Program.

  30. RichQSprosty zegt:

    Good means of explaining, and good article to obtain information about my
    presentation focus, which i will convey in institution of advanced
    schooling.

  31. After weeks of planning and construction, your children’s
    pool is finally ready. It enjoys an individual recommendation of nearly 86% which suggests 9 beyond 10 people would select this kind of
    hotel. But there is a method to prolong the health and longevity of your chlorine.

  32. Szacuje się, że w najbliższych latach internetowe szybkie pożyczki pozabankowe będą stanowić coraz większą konkurencję dla kredytów bankowych.

  33. I’ve learn some excellent stuff here. Definitely worth bookmarking
    for revisiting. I surprise how so much attempt you place to make this kind of excellent
    informative web site.

  34. 56 Bryan Braman Jersey.Cameron Lawrence Jersey.

    The sponsors have paid anything from an estimated ?8m to ?120m to have their names associated
    with what is one of the two biggest where to get cheap basketball jerseys suppliers.

  35. shopping zegt:

    Definitely consider that that you said. Your favourite
    reason appeared to be on the net the easiest factor to be mindful of.

    I say to you, I definitely get irked at the same time as folks consider worries that they
    plainly don’t recognise about. You managed to hit the nail
    upon the highest and also outlined out the whole thing without having side
    effect , people could take a signal. Will probably be
    back to get more. Thank you

  36. Hello great blog! Does running a blog such as this take a great deal of work?
    I’ve virtually no understanding of coding but I had been hoping
    to start my own blog in the near future. Anyway, should you have
    any ideas or tips for new blog owners please share. I understand this is off subject however I simply wanted to ask.
    Thanks a lot!

  37. likit tarifi zegt:

    I Ьelieve this is one of thе so mᥙch іmportant informɑtion for me.
    And i’m glad studying your article. Howeѵer wanna remark on few geneгal issues, The site taste
    is ideal, the articles is actually excellent : D. Just right tasҝ, cheers

  38. 29 Perrish Cox Jersey – Shop for 22 Aaron Colvin Jersey best factory with the 38
    Ron Parker Jersey authentic cheap price and fast free shipping
    from china.

  39. I enjoy reading through your web sites. Thanks!

  40. Many thanks very valuable. Will share site with my friends.

  41. 27 Malcolm Jenkins Jersey.You get 80 Levine Toilolo Jersey
    online cheapest and free 38 Dashon Goldson Jersey give to you, free shipping arrive
    oversea.

  42. May I simply say what a comfort to find somebody that really
    understands what they are talking about on the net.
    You actually understand how to bring an issue to light and make
    it important. More and more people must read this and understand this
    side of your story. I can’t believe you are not more popular because you
    most certainly possess the gift.

  43. 53 Mark Nzeocha Jersey.Jordan Leslie Jersey-Welcome to buy cheap wholesale sports jerseys with
    free shipping and best service in our jerseys online
    shop.

  44. Une formation continue est dispensée aux équipes de Docteur IT Bordeaux
    - 33 afin d’être toujours à la pointe des évolutions technologiques des
    ordinateurs.

Leave a Reply

Categories

Get Adobe Flash playerPlugin by wpburn.com wordpress themes